When Recognition Backfires - And How To Get It Right

Most managers want to do the right thing. They want their people to feel valued, motivated and appreciated.

So they give recognition - a shout-out in a meeting, a message in the team chat, a “great job” delivered with enthusiasm.

But here’s the catch: Recognition is only effective when it’s delivered in a way the other person can truly receive it.

And when it isn’t? The exact opposite of what you intended can happen.

Why well-meant recognition can miss the mark?

We often assume that what feels motivating to us feels motivating to others.
But people vary enormously in how they like to be recognised:

• Some love public praise; others find it embarrassing.
• Some value a private “thank you”; others want their efforts seen by the whole team.
• Some appreciate a written note; others prefer a face-to-face conversation.
• Some like immediate recognition; others value reflection and thoughtful acknowledgement.

When these preferences are unknown, managers take their best guess, and even with the best intentions, guesswork can lead to misalignment - the kind that leaves employees feeling misunderstood rather than appreciated.

The impact of getting it wrong

Recognition that doesn’t land well can unintentionally:

• Create discomfort instead of motivation.
• Damage trust (“They don’t really know me”).
• Reduce engagement over time.
• Make future praise feel less authentic.
• Undermine otherwise positive relationships.

It’s not because the manager doesn’t care. It’s because they don’t yet have the insight to tailor appreciation to each person.

This is where Olivia steps in

Ask-Olivia helps managers move from guesswork to precision.

She gives clear insight into:

• What motivates each individual.
• How they prefer to receive recognition.
• What behaviours make them feel valued.
• Which approaches may unintentionally create discomfort.

Armed with this understanding, managers can deliver appreciation in the right format, at the right moment, with the right tone, so it actually lands.

Recognition that truly resonates

Recognition stops being a generic gesture and becomes something meaningful:

• The spotlight lovers get their moment.
• The private thinkers get their one-on-one appreciation.
• The detail-oriented get specific, thoughtful feedback.
• The action-driven get acknowledgement tied to results.

Everyone receives recognition in the language that motivates them most.

The takeaway

Recognition is powerful - but only when it’s personalised.

Olivia gives managers and teams the clarity they need to make appreciation authentic, motivating, and effective.

Stop guessing how people want to be recognised: Ask-Olivia and get it right every time.

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